The more Married At First Sight (MAFS) 2025 weddings we have, the less likely we are to remember everyone come May 2025. That is only a good thing.
There were a lot of terrible people to write about for this MAFS recap. Let’s meet them.
Tony’s cousin is baffled by Morena’s age
The producers are working overtime to make Tony seem likeable by showing outtakes from his kitchen. Morena, who he’s been matched with, is doing more with her life at 57 than I am at 34.
Morena was in a shit relationship for a couple of decades and has found herself a la Elizabeth Gilbert since, something she would like to express with her wedding dress choice. Considering Tony is wearing a maroon velvet suit, we are convinced they are a good MAFS 2025 match.
They seem to get along and vibe each other’s European-ness. But Tony’s cousin is not impressed by Morena’s age which is four years Tony’s senior. “Holy moly, that’s old!” he tells Tony upon finding out they exist within the same decade.
He thinks Tony is ageing rather well and should be able to “get away” with someone between the ages of 38-42, which is rather specific.
Ah yes, that’s exactly what I’m thinking as I get my Botox injected — “This will help me get away with dating someone 10 years my junior even though dating someone 4 years my senior would be incomprehensible.”
Ugh.
Jacqui and Ryan are truly the worst
Oh, how I hate this MAFS 2025 couple.
Jacqui puts together pitch decks to convince people why they should be together. I laugh, but I would love to see one of these PowerPoints. She mentions being a model twice in the episode and even says something about being Miss New Zealand.
Ryan also sucks. He’s kind of full of himself and reckons he will live to 110 — something that will be more achievable if he can find a wife. He says “warrior” a lot.
They were both bullied which doesn’t do the job of making me hate them any less.
Jacqui also hates Ryan: Warrior Princess because he:
- Is not blonde
- Has facial hair
- Wrote his vows
- Does not offer his jacket in the cold
- Does not have a favourable choice in dog
Jacqui doesn’t hate the fact that he dropped her on the dancefloor; however, the Warrior Princess is mortified and begs the producers not to make her the laughingstock of the nation by airing the moment on national television.
How nice of him to consider her dignity.
A version of this article initially appeared on the Talking Schmidt Substack and has been reproduced here with permission.
Married At First Sight 2025 airs Sundays at 7pm and Monday – Wednesday at 7:30pm on Channel 9 and 9Now.
