After meeting our first two Married At First Sight (MAFS) 2025 couples in Episode 1, we’re back! Why do I feel like it’s all downhill from here? Let’s recap!
MAFS 2025 delivers the torture early
Not to confuse shows, but the new MAFS 2025 couple, Katie and Tim, is good on paper. Individually and together. A purpose-driven angel and a P.E. teacher who refers to himself as “nice”? Great!!
Let’s meet Katie first. She wears gigantic necklaces straight from the zoo. She also had a horrible ex who once told her to lose weight. While she was in her bikini and in a pool.
She’s excited to wear a REAL wedding dress for a REAL man with REAL people in attendance.
Literally 0.3 seconds later she starts getting upset because she realises the whole wedding part is fake.
It’s actually very sad, though, because she feels like she skipped the falling-in-love part that comes before a wedding and that she had to “trap a stranger into it”. While I’m glad people are actually acknowledging that these sham weddings take away from the real wedding they’ll have one day, I’m sad she feels this way. She seems like a catch.
Tim? Tim’s a PE teacher and quite charismatic, or as Kate would say, “tranquil.” Anyway, upon meeting Tim, she tells him that she won’t be doing OnlyFans, and it’s the greatest nod to what a joke this show is that I ever saw.
Tim tells Katie he’s a nice guy and then proceeds to show the producer otherwise.
He said that he wanted someone short, petite, blonde, or brunette—literally, every hair colour that Katie is not. The producer reminds Tim that judging someone based on five minutes is a mean thing to do.
Are we not seeing how ironic it is that people see him as just the “nice guy” but then he says “Katie’s lovely but…”.
Katie starts feeling insecure, and Tim didn’t even kiss her on the cheek after her cake knife became dirty. Like I understand consent, don’t get me wrong, but I’ll only accept that if he didn’t kiss several other cheeks this very same day.
He then tells Katie that it was because of how overwhelming the day is and then Katie assumes she’s been overreacting and spiralling. I hate how this is going to end for her. Which is probably soon.
The Big Friendly Giant and the Small Friendly Greek
Is it just me, or do we think that producers paired the shortest and tallest participants together for shits and gigs? Let me tell you, there is nothing funny about this projected back pain.
Dave’s huge, and Jamie has a huge personality. Jamie also claps like a seal when she realises her new husband has even his inner ear tattooed. She then proves herself to be a Defqon. 1 attendee by mentioning raves 32 times during their wedding photoshoot.
These two are a vibe, and I’m already into whatever love story they’re about to give birth to. Mostly, I’m just excited that she got MAFS 2025 expert John Aiken to say, “Core is important”.
A version of this MAFS 2025 recap initially appeared on the Talking Schmidt Substack and has been reproduced here with permission.
Married At First Sight 2025 airs Sundays at 7pm and Monday – Wednesday at 7:30pm on Channel 9 and 9Now.
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