I am (dis)pleased to report that no Married At First Sight (MAFS) 2025 couples went home during the second Commitment Ceremony. Not one! I am equally unhappy that the MAFS “cheating scandal” was about as promising as an avocado being perfectly ripe when opened. Anyway, let’s recap.
Who’s in love on MAFS?
Jamie and Dave: The only couple I believe from the Commiment Ceremony is Lil’ Jamie and Big Dave. They found sparks out of their asses after establishing common values. We love an ass spark.
Who’s not in love on MAFS 2025?
Morena and Tony: There was a lot of chat about Tony needing “Tony Time” during his marriage to Morena. I’m sorry, but is Tony Time code for flogging the log? Spanking the monkey? Beating the meat? Sure did sound like it.
Anyway, Morena, a 57-year-old woman, got in trouble for pointing her finger. She also wrote leave, and, more shockingly, Tony wrote stay. I guess that Tony Time really can help you deal with all that talky talky.
Carina and Paul: I’m glad Carina showed you her inner-dom, Paul, but I’m not buying that you’re magically into each other this time around. That being said, it sure does sound like Carina and Paul are still together. Or are they playing the media game both inside and outside of the MAFS 2025 experiment?
Rhi and Jeff: They’re doing the best they can with the cards they were dealt IMO. Rhi looked like she wanted to cry when Jamie and Dave were discussing ass sparks, and it wasn’t happy tears.
Jacqui and Ryan: Jacqui doesn’t want Ryan to be dishonest (ranking her first in the photo challenge) but wants him to find a way to put her first (in the photo challenge). Makes sense!!!
They then start discussing the future children they’ll never have together, a short-lived conversation when they remember they have different book genre tastes. These two have to be actors. I won’t hear otherwise.
Adrian and Awhina: Adrian said some stuff in between looking at the ceiling and making Awhina feel like she’s the bane of his existence. I think.
Did anyone else see the audience poll on whether or not Awhina should leave Adrian? I hope their relationship is over now, or they didn’t see the poll, because for both to exist would be painfully awkward.
Sierah and Billy: Sierah and Billy finally sealed their second deal. Yay! Except Sierah called it a “drunken fumble” while Billy thought they were “connecting”. I’m sure that’ll give him the confidence he needs for round three!
Anyway, turns out Sierah has been opening up emotionally with her footsie fetish partner, Adrian. This pisses both Awhina and Billy off, and it suddenly becomes a competition between those two on who’s more hurt.
Sierah is pretty Frozen a la Madonna the whole time, so I can tell she really doesn’t want to tell Billy about her past or Australia, which is fair.
Perhaps her moment with Adrian was also a drunken fumble of the mouth? I’m sorry if he thought they were connecting.
I feel bad for Sierah, but I feel worse for the audience, who thought they were getting something more sinister.
Maybe the conceiving of illegitimate twins, perhaps a dose of tinea transfer. At this point, I’d settle for anything other than “We chatted once.”
A version of this recap initially appeared on the Talking Schmidt Substack and has been reproduced here with permission.
Married At First Sight 2025 airs Sundays at 7pm and Monday – Wednesday at 7:30pm on Channel 9 and 9Now.
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