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The worst dating advice spilled by Redditors

It’s a rough world for dating. From navigating dating apps, to trying to spot a genuine match from a predator or cat-fisher, or meeting social pressures, the stresses that come with dating leave a lot of us desperate for advice – any advice. However, not all of the dating tips out there are useful – or even genuine. Here, we’ve listed ten pieces of the worst dating advice Redditors have ever heard:

       1.Chivalry ain’t dead

Suit And Tie GIF

“My sister told me, ‘every time she stands, you have to stand. And you must remain standing until she sits. If she has to go to the bathroom you must remain standing at the table until she returns.’ “

My sister liked to invent dating etiquette that was almost believable, but went a little too far.

       2. Get fruity

Shots Fired Wow GIF by Jonas Mosesson

“In high school I went to the movies with a girl and my parents were driving me to her parents’ house. Mom turns to Dad and says, ‘give your son some advice.’ Dad turns to me and says, ‘put a cucumber in your pocket, it will impress her.’  Mom then adds on if it does, double bag it. I was 13-14 at the time. Thanks Mom and Dad.”

(Friendly reminder: double bagging causes the two condoms to rub on each other, often leading them to break.)

       3. It’s a lonely world

“They told me to be myself. So, I’m being myself right now and avoiding any contact with strangers. Needless to say, it’s not very effective for getting girls.”

       4. Omegle died for a reason

creepy rickey smiley GIF by TV One

“Put your hand on her belly and whisper in her ear, ‘soon you will be plump with my seed.’ “

Stranger danger takes on a new meaning when you get love advice from Omegle.

       5. It’s not written in the stars

“ ‘They’ll come along when you least expect it!’ or any variation of ‘they’ll come when you stop looking.’ ”

Do piss off. Both of those pieces of advice are rubbish. Dating needs to be an active process, not a passive one.

 6. Oddly specific

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“I hate dating rules, like when it’s okay to first kiss, when to move up a step from dating, how long to wait before answering a text and so on.

This is the biggest bullshit ever, both parties definitely don’t need to infest their relationship with some psycho tricks some Facebook mum told them while she was drunk on her third red wine bottle because her third marriage fell apart.”

Um, okay Simon.

       7. Hedge your bets

“Date many men at the same time, so you can decide which one to marry faster” – My Great Grandma.

      8. Keep it in the family

Monster In Law GIF

“Bring your mum on the date. It’s important they get along, so might as well find out on the first date.”

We appreciate the attempt at efficiency, but how ‘bout no? Any dating advice that involves your mum needs to be trashed – pronto. 

      9. A drought in the sea

Hook Line And Sinker Love GIF by Barbara Pozzi

” ‘There’s plenty of fish in the sea.’ Yeah, no. I’m gay. I’m gunning for, what, at a good estimate, 5% of 50% of the population? It’s easy for a gay guy to end up alone. The numbers aren’t in our favour.”

      10. Hold off on the weirdness

alex jones conspiracy GIF

” ‘Don’t be yourself.’

While this can be sage advice, don’t be 100% yourself on the first date. Hold back the weird conspiracy theories until at least the third or fourth date.”

 

There’s really no right or wrong when it comes to dating, so follow your heart – and maybe not this dating advice.