It’s episode one of the wild ride that is Parental Guidance Australia, season two and 12 new parents with drastically different parenting styles are going head-to-head to find out Australia’s best parenting style.
Led by esteemed television personality Ally Langdon and renowned parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson, the first episode put the spotlight on four parent sets with distinct parenting styles: Honest (no holding back), Outback (tough love), Gentle (patient and kind), and Lighthouse (promote independence).
As for the others? They served as “panel parents”, lending their valuable insights and perspectives. What could possibly go wrong?
“There’s no point in sugar-coating life, because life is not going to be sugar-coated for you,” our honest single-mum, Kat, 49 said.
The First Challenge — The photoshoot
Outback Family
The first exercise of season two was the Family Photo Shoot Challenge, where each family tried to capture the perfect family portrait with the help of a pro photographer and scenic surroundings.
“We’ll need to see cooperation and patience, as well as a great family photo,” host Ally Langdon said.
First up was the Outback parents, Tency, 32, David, 39 and their kids Vance, 10, Wyatt, nine and Clancy seven.
This family don’t usually partake in professional family photos with Tency saying: “It was a bit awkward.”
When the panel spoke to the couple, Jonathan (Influencer) said it was “easy to see the boys have a lot of respect” for them as parents, especially when David urged Wyatt quietly to sit still.
David admitted that his parenting style came from a man who uses that technique with horses.
“If you need a gram, use a gram. If you need a tonne, use a tonne,” he said. “If you don’t need to use much to get something done, you don’t need to use much.”
Dr Justin then shared the psychological term: “Minimal Sufficiency Paradigm, which is precisely what that is.”
Lighthouse Family
The Lighthouse family of Sammy, 41 and Jason, 41, and Pepper, 10, Jude, six, Rory, three and Lottie, two were a tad more chaotic as their parenting style allows the kids the freedom “to run amok”.
Their photo ended with all the children in a tree, which “summed” up them as a family.
Kath, one of the American parents, liked how the photo “came about organically”.
“It was bribery, it wasn’t organic,” Sammy joked before Unstructured parent Melody said they found a way “to redirect it to be gentle and fun”.
“We give them that space to be a little bit feral and then we bring it back in.”
Gentle Family
Marcus, 34, and Larissa, 33, try to practice “a lot of patience” when parenting Levi, eight, Seanna, six, Amos, four and Caleb, two.
And as Larissa foreshadowed, the photoshoot took a lot longer than most families, given their more gentle approach. While watching back, some of the others were less than impressed with how things proceeded, in particular how Levi spoke back to his parents.
Parent Deepak, 45, told the couple that he felt uncomfortable for the photographer; however, Marcus said that they have the comfort of “four children to consider”.
Influencer Jonathan then countered, saying that in “that situation, it’s time for the kids to behave”.
Stage parent Sarah, 47, then suggested the “distraction technique”, offering a treat if they focused now.
“We don’t use bribes,” Larissa said. “Depending on how it could be used, is a bribe.”
Larissa told the panel that two of her four kids were sick; however, Outback David said regardless, they “super disrespectful”, especially when Caleb was hitting Larissa.
Marcus then told the panel that in a real life scenario, they would talk the child through the situation, i.e. “‘How do you think that made your sibling feel?” because they were trying to promote “empathy”.
Team Parent Leanne, 42, was shocked and in a producer-led interview said she saw “no respect or discipline”.
“If any of my kids struck at me, that’s not OK!” she said.
On the plus side, Deepak did say that they liked how patient Marcus and Larissa were with Dr Coulson addiing that teaching kids to behave in a “socially appropriate way” was one of the key roles for parents.
Honest Family
Finally, it was time for single mum Kat and her kids, fraternal twins Billy and Jesse, ten to have their photo taken.
Everything was going really well with the kids rolling down the hill, until Kat thought “what have I done”?
Jesse is autistic and has ADHD, and take him a lot of time to focus due to an influx of energy.
Kat used a “stop” technique, where she put up her hand, telling the kids to “think about hot you’re going to be, how itchy you’re going to be”.
Marcus and Larissa shook their heads, while Leanne nodded in agreement with Kat’s approach.
“It’s all about quick recovery,” Kat said, saying that after she uses force, she then goes back to making it fun. She then told the kids to “casually” do “the finger” and they loved it!
Melody loved that Kat gave them a reason to stop, calling it “impressive”.
Kat explained that there are definitely guidelines to her technique.
Learning more about the Parenting Styles
Lighthouse Parenting
Lighthouse Parenting is “a watchful, yet hands-off-approach to parenting.” For example, Sammy and Jason allow Pepper and Jude (10 and six) to go get the fish and chips from the shop by themselves at nighttime.
“We’re setting our kids up so that they realise we won’t always be there to fix their problems,” Sammy said.
Jude and Rory are also allowed to swim in the water at the beach by themselves, while the parents watch on from inside the house, in order to “showcase” independence.
Lighthouse Parenting — The panel response
Leanne was quick to say she felt “ill” watching the kids in the water.
“That water can change in an instant and from where you are and where the kids are, they’re gone,” she said.
While Jason said there were “lifeguards”, Sammy added that they want their kids to be aware of their own limitations.
Ally then questioned if the lifeguards were the babysitters and Team Parent Mark, 46, said it was “too hands-off), while Kat said she trusted their judgement.
Honest Parenting
Honest parenting is telling the truth sometimes bluntly.
“Honesty in my home is 100% important,” Kat said adding the “benefit is for them to be able to relate”.
“Let’s stop fluffing these children up.”
Honest Parenting — The panel response
Leanne told Kat that she too hates when school’s give out a participation award; however, Stage Parent Sarah said that joking about kids performance is concerning.
Ally asked whether it was effecting their kid’s “self-esteem” and Kat said, everything she tells them “was age appropriate”.
Influencer Jonathan loved her technique.
Challenge Two — An hour of screentime
For their next challenge, the focus parents take on one of the most confronting issues of the digital age – Online Strangers.
Joined by AFP Detective Superintendent Jayne Crossling from the Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation, the parents found themselves engaged in a difficult conversation that sheds light on the crucial importance of equipping children with the skills to safely navigate the digital world.
“This crime type is severely underreported,” Det SI Jayne said, telling the parent’s that groomers can use images of their children to exploit them.
The parents were challenged to allow their kids an hour of screentime with an online-game, seeing what they did when a stranger (an actor under AFP guidance) approached them.
Outback Parenting
Ten-year-old Vance was first up playing as “Lemonade” and the actor “Happy Dance”. Immediately, Vance gives away that he’s on TV and doing a challenge.
The actor tries to convince him to give his real name, but he uses “Elizabeth” instead, before the actor asks his age. Vance reveals he’s 10. While the actor tries to get him to talk, he’s too focused on the game.
The actor then asks if they can meet and Vance says he can’t, or he’ll “get into trouble”.
Det Jayne said it was a great technique used by Vance, but she did have concern with him seeing it as a completion, which “really motivated him and in time, could be used against him”.
Lighthouse Parenting
Pepper, also 10, was then given time and immediately gave her name out. The actor then asks if she wants to go to his house in-game and Pepper says “of course”.
Det Jayne says that offenders will do this to move kids away from other users so they can “chat in private”.
The actor then says what state he is in, before Pepper immediately tells him what suburb she lives in, before she gives away that she knows the local shopping centre.
When asked to meet up, Pepper says “definitely”, before adding him as a friend.
Sammy and Jason were visibly upset, as were the other parents.
“Not talking about it is actually dangerous,” Ally said before Sammy said it “breaks my heart”.
Jason revealed that Pepper wasn’t old enough to use technology yet, before it was noted that Pepper had used the game at her friend’s house before, something Det Jayne was worried about.
Gentle Parenting
Levi and Seanna (eight and six) then took on the challenge.
Larissa said they do not encourage technology in their house and while Levi and Seanna are playing the game, they ignore the chat from the actor.
“We try teach our kids to listen to how they’re feeling,” Larissa told the group. “If an adult is asking for help, [they’re] maybe not a safe person.”
However, Det Jayne said the kids were being “inadvertently safe” because they weren’t playing the game correctly.
“It can be challenging to rely on an individual’s intuition,” she told them.
Honest Parenting
Finally, it was time for Kat’s daughter Billy, ten, to go online.
Kat reveals she has strong, strict rules about what they can say when using technology and straight away, Billy tells the actor she is a girl.
The actor then tells her that they’re in the same state and finds a kid’s restaurant she might like.
“No!” Billy exclaims, saying she lives near there while also giving away her street address. Kat is visibly upset, especially when Billy lies to her.
“None of you can beat me up anymore than I’m beating myself up right now,” Kat tells the panel.
Ally, also chocked up, says: “No one is beating you up. Everyone feels for you right now,” before comforting her.
“Honest parent, my kid lies,” she says. “Reality is she lied because she knew she’d done the wrong thing.”
Kat walks out alongside Ally and it was truly heartbreaking to watch.
Dr Justin then says that kids lie so that their screens won’t be taken off them before Det Jayne says, without judgement, that immediately, Billy would have felt scared due to the fact Kat came into the conversation concerned even though it was the nature of the game.
The Final Task — Baking a Cake
The climax of the episode presents the families with their final challenge: baking a cake together.
This seemingly simple task serves as a powerful reminder of the significance of sibling relationships in a child’s life.
While Billy and Jesse bake a cake, there’s no teamwork happening, and even though there was no direction, “they weren’t at each other.”
Unforunately, their cake was a disaster and Kat told them so!
Meanwhile, in the Outback…
Vance and Wyatt were very good at working together with seven-year-old Clancy being the boss and their cake turned out great!
Seanna was in charge of the Gentle household; however, her being the boss turned into tears. Levi struggled and went to his room, while the other children kept baking; coming back after he had calmed down.
Kat and her Honest parenting was praised for her “relaxed approach” while the Gentle Parents were commended for their “patience”.
Sammy and Jason’s Jude was put in charge, much to the horror of Pepper, who although disgruntled, went along with it anyway.
Even two-year-old Lottie got in on the action, breaking a few eggs in the process while Pepper got upset with Jason consoling her, before she went to her room.
Jude then hugged Pepper asking for her help! So sweet. She then returned to the kitchen.
Ally questioned whether their daughter felt more responsibility because her mum and dad were Lighthouse parents.
The voting
The panel were then tasked with choosing their favourite parenting style from the day.
Tency and David, the Outback parents procured the most votes for best Parental Guidance.
For more information, visit the Australian Centre to Counter Child Expoliation.
Parental Guidance continues on Tuesday June 6 at 7.30pm.
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