Out of all the desperate singles that have ditched the dating apps and dirty nightclubs to find a real connection on reality television, I strongly believe that Angie Kent is one of the most lovable bachelorettes to grace our television screens. I find myself genuinely drawn to this well-spoken bogan girl from Melbourne and I cackle every time she opens her mouth to explain why she’s still single and how her brain makes sense of awkward situations.
The most hilarious part of Angie’s journey so far is the fact that she’s gone from ripping into contestants from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette to being one herself. When Angie was on Gogglebox she would crucify the singles who took a leap of faith for the chance to find love – and stuff their tongues down each other’s throats along the way. In a great display of poetic justice, Angie has pashed almost every single guy she’s come into contact with. I hope no contestants struggle with the games of tonsil hockey – though this might explain some of the early boots from the mansion this season. We love the irony of seeing Angie’s transition from couch critique to reality star.
However, I strongly believe that Angie’s stint on The Bachelorette has been nothing short of insufferable to watch. This poor girl has been given a plethora of dud males and drama-fostering man-children who have nothing better to do with their lives than bitch about each other. The dates they take Angie on are about as stealthily produced as Jamie’s facade of being a ‘normal guy’. It’s a culmination of the suckiest situations, where she’s exposed to stale, predictable plot lines (which really sucks as you can identify with her genuine Aussie nature), despite being one of the greatest female bogans of our time.
They’ve turned Angie into what feels like a ‘home-brand’ marketing tool for their weird products. Producers can’t think they’re being that stealthy about their marketing activities when they literally make a date about the royal fire service and the freaking cool things they do. I can’t think of reality where someone would be like ‘oh hello how are you, would you like to be suspended in mid-air while I come rescue you from a pretend burning building? I promise I’ll give you a rose and kiss if you do xx’.
Honestly, Angie deserves better. After all, she used to fun of this Hunger Games style dating show and the poor singles who flock to it. Her favourite thing to was tormenting and mimicking the males vying for the bachelorette’s heart. In retaliation, the producers have given her dud guys that put ‘dogs are my favourite!’ in their tinder bios with dad bods and beer pics galore. Of course, I do like the whole ‘disillusioned guy taking on everyone else believing he actually has a shot with the girl of his dreams’ trope, but I just ended up getting frustrated with Jamie’s antics. I understand that the cringe factor is a big part of the overall story arc of a lot of Bachelorette characters, however the amount of times my physical cringing was louder than his monotone voice was too high. Please, the socks he gave Angie had more personality than a hot firefighter bringing a dog to a girl on a red carpet. You do the math, although I highly doubt Jamie could.
My one truly heartbreaking moment from Angie’s journey so far was seeing my favourite British ex-army riflemen/exhibitionist, Kieran, leave the Bachelorette mansion as one of his family members had passed away. In a truly saddening scene, Angie farewells the man she claimed was ‘the one’ and the one penis that she’d seen in five weeks. Lord knows I would be upset to see him go too. He was my favourite contestant with the most genuine feelings towards Angie, making the most impactful gestures in her journey to find love. I honestly hope that she dumps whoever she chose at the end just to end up with him and fuck everything up.
Angie may or may not deserve the things coming her way in this season of the Bachelorette. What we do know is that I will be watching no matter what happens because I’m single and need some form of validation for my lonely life. Watching grown men get their hearts broken publicly is the most satisfying thing to see on my Wednesday and Thursday nights. Is that my kink? Please don’t kink shame me and I won’t kiss shame Angie, done deal.
You can catch our live tweets @chattr where we just go along with the banter of the night. Lord knows I’ll be tweeting along too.
