Just when we thought we were rid of MAFS 2025’s shit men this season, more rise from Tim and Eliot’s ashes, perhaps to make the knuckleheads that came before them proud. Let’s discuss:
- Adrian’s ability to terrify us all
- Jake’s surprise inner-demon
- Jacqui’s neverending list of “qualities”
Adrian makes me unwell
Adrian touches every triggerable bone in my body during this episode.
First, he essentially calls Awhina a “shit person” for cheating on her partner (like, a decade ago). Let the record show that Awhina told her partner straight away, and they were able to rebuild.
Do I think cheating’s okay? No. Do I think hearing a new potential partner cheated in a past relationship would be off-putting? Yep. Would I have delivered my stance with more tact than Adrian? I bloody hope so.
Adrian then tells Awhina that he’s never cheated himself, but then a producer reminds him that’s only half-true. Hearing a man say “we weren’t officially together” has sent me and takes me right back to being a 19-year-old who believed that nonsense from equally nonsense humans.
Adrian then decides not to partake in a confession letter because, as far as I can gather, he couldn’t be arsed to share his feelings or past. The way he smiles with the producer makes me think he does not care about this relationship and is only here for the upcoming Instagram ride. Or that he’s hiding something. Surely it can’t be worse than Jayden’s from last year?
MAFS 2025’s Jacqui can’t be a real person
Oh, help. Jacqui is listing her achievements again, including—but not limited to—her time as a model. Did you know she was a model?
“You gave me a resume,” Ryan: Warrior Princess tells her. Why is her mini tanty so … performative? I’m convinced she is an actress of some kind because I refuse to believe she is so unaware.
WTF Jake?
When I say my mouth was open the entire time Jake did the MAFS 2025 photo ranking task, I am not exaggerating. Here’s what he thinks of his new friends!:
- Jacqui: “Crazy eyes”
- Sierah: “Her face screams I could stab you in your sleep.”
- Awhina: “I’m not racist but I do like caucasian people mainly…”
- Morena: He’s sure she was hot when she was younger.
- Rhi: Bit of a lazy eye, apparently.
- Carina: Gorgeous but “she knows it”.
He put Ashleigh fourth. Speaking of fourth, that wall was broken when Jake looked at the camera — I haven’t been that uncomfortable since the Sex And The City pilot.
Ashleigh had a few drinks and went to Sierah’s to no doubt cut rank over the whole unexpected plot twist. Sierah told Billy.
Billy’s response to how Jake acted?
“You look like Jeffrey Dahmer, mate.”
A version of this article initially appeared on the Talking Schmidt Substack and has been reproduced here with permission.
Married At First Sight 2025 airs Sundays at 7pm and Monday – Wednesday at 7:30pm on Channel 9 and 9Now.
Want to CHATTR with us? Follow us on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok for more entertainment news.
