It’s episode seven of Love Island Australia 2023 and toooonight there’s trouble in paradise as “This guy 🙄” Reid finally pisses off Kirra to the point of no return and Hurricane Abby is in the “eye of the storm” with Kiwi Ken a.k.a Zac.
Let’s get into it!
Kirra finally sees the light during The Candy Shop challenge
T-Dawg Trent pulls Hurricane Abby for a chat because she’s got “really nice facial features” before he throws Sav under the bus and tells Abby Sav is not his “vibe”.
Their convo is interrupted by a TEXXXXXT and it’s time for a game, The Candy Shop.
While Kirra does her best “sexy wolf” impression, Nate gets to choose two people to kiss that he thinks should couple up. Even though we thought he was Team Kirra, he makes “This guy 🙄” and Hurricane Abby mack on.
“Good motion in the ocean,” Reid says of the kiss. Gross.
Kiwi Ken then gives Nate (?!) a lap dance because he reckons he’d be mammoth in bed and Lucinda tries to be sexy while pretending to be a “pussy cat”.
Next up, Hurricane Abby has to kiss her top three boys — “This guy 🙄”, T-Dawg (“The s–ittest kisser”) and Pete Gunn Kelly Kale.
Nakia chooses PGK and… Ben?! for a three-way kiss before Hurricane Abby has to kiss an islander with whom she hadn’t locked lips before. She macks on with Nate. Ben also has to kiss Hurricane Abby, before “This guy 🙄” has to kiss his top pick, hug his second pick and pat the head of his bottom pick.
Unsurprisingly, he kisses Hurricane Abby and hugs Kirra.
“At this rate, I’m just going to get ‘mug’ written across my forehead,” Kirra says in a confessional, before saying: “It’s super clear that Reid lied to me to stay in the Villa. He’s a shady snake.” HALLELUJAH!
“I’m so done with being put second or being put last,” she says again in the Beach Hut. “I’m done with it. At what stage do you say ‘I’m done with this f–king bull-s–t?’…I hate men! I’m turning lesbian!”
Kirra wants to go home
Speaking to Tia, Nakia and Nate, Kirra says she’s ready to go TF home, admitting she knows that “This guy 🙄” would have picked her last but didn’t want to look like a d–khead.
“I’m not an idiot,” Kirra says and it’s lovely to see her come to her senses.
“I just want him to come up and say ‘I’m not interested. That’s fine you’re not hurting my feelings. It’s hurting my feelings more with you being a fake f–king c—!” OOOOFT.
Nakia: PRAISE BE!!
“Say it to him,” Nate says, which is funny, given five minutes ago he got Reid and Hurricane Abby to make out.
“I don’t have the energy tonight so I’m just going to go get a snack,” Kirra says. Relatable.
In a confessional, Nakia says “This guy 🙄” needs to “GROW UP” and honestly, we couldn’t agree more. Meanwhile, Kirra doesn’t want to talk to him.
“F–k Reid,” she says. “I should have sent him home the moment I knew he f–ked my sister.” Ahh, Love Island. Place of romance, love and dreams.
Nate and Hurricane Abby talk about Tia and “This guy 🙄” Reid…and Hurricane Abby chats to “This guy 🙄”
Meanwhile, Nate and Hurricane Abby have a chat where he reveals he’s happy with Tia. Well done Nate.
Tia: “I’m not jealous of her because I know I’m better than her.” LOL.
Hurricane Abby then admits she’s concerned about “This guy 🙄” because he hasn’t been honest with her.
Nate reassures her that Reid’s not lying about her being his number one, even though he can “be a little sneaky at times”.
Hurricane Abby then pulls “This guy 🙄” for a chat. She says that she’s heard s–t about the elimination of MVP Ollie.
He tells Hurricane Abby he only told Kirra that he would be “willing to explore options more than a friendship level”, which TBF, he did say.
“This guy 🙄” promises her that like a Destiny’s Child song, he’s not “jumpin’ jumpin'” and Abby decides to trust him, but says he needs to talk to Kirra.
When he goes for said chat, Kirra pretends she’s asleep. Lol.
“This guy 🙄” then tells Lucinda that he “feels for” Kirra because she’s been dealt some blows this week. Ok, bro.
Hurricane Abby tells Sav that T-Dawg does not, in fact, prefer blondes
The next morning, Kirra “wisely fakes a coma” to avoid her new arch-nemesis and the boys brush their teeth…in the outside shower.
SEE ALSO: Interview: Yup, there’s an actual reason why the guys shower naked together on Love Island
Kirra starts crying in bed and Kiwi Ken and T-Dawg try to comfort her. They gather the girls and Kirra tells them Reid hasn’t spoken to her…but honestly, we know it’s not without a lack of trying. (We’re still not fans. Don’t worry.)
Delulu Lucinda says that Reid is still into Kirra… “Well, he says that”. Lol. And honestly, we don’t need more delusional people in Le Villa.
Sav and Hurricane Abby then have a chat and Abby reveals she wants to get to know Reid and… Nate. Which we will not allow.
She then tells Sav that T-Dawg isn’t interested in her anymore and that he’s over blondes.
“Chill out Trent,” Sav says in a confessional. “Maybe I’m over brunette immature liars.” LELz.
Sav confronts T-Dawg
Sav pulls T-Dawg for a chat and tells him what Hurricane Abby had said.
“I didn’t say it like that,” he says. “I just said that I wasn’t feeling it after a few things you said but we get along so well and we’re just seeing where it goes.”
DO THESE PPL NOT KNOW THEY ARE BEING FILMED?!
Trusting her gut, she tells him that something feels “completely different” and T-Dawg unsurprisingly charms his way back in, saying that Abby was just embellishing. WOWEE. Talk about “This guy 🙄” 2.0.
During a confessional, T-Dawg admits he’s in a “sticky situation” because he doesn’t think they can be more than friends…
Kirra confronts “This guy 🙄”
“This guy 🙄” tries to clear the air, but she’s having none of it.
“I know you only picked me second out of pity, and you probably should’ve told me because it was such a slap in the face,” she tells him, before asking for a shred of honesty about how he feels about her.
“Effort is a direct reflection of interest and your effort is the bare minimum,” she says. “I know you’re not interested.”
“I was willing to explore and open to having more chats so I could show interest,” he tells her before she tells him: “I would have rather kept Ollie and sent you the f–k home, to be honest.”
“You’re welcome for me keeping you in here,” she tells him. “I’ll sleep on the couch.” LEL.
Superfans get their say during a challenge
In an Out of this World challenge, the Superfans get a chance to have their say.
Apparently, 90% of them think that Tyra is playing it safe by staying with Ben and precisely 30% of them thought Kirra and “This guy 🙄” could win Love Island. Clearly, they voted before today’s events…
65% also thought Tia would break Nate’s heart (wut?!) and 15% think PGK and Nakia are compatible.
5% also thought T-Dawg and Sav would be BF and GF, which to Sav is “definitely a sign”.
As for Kiwi Ken and Lucinda, 80% think that Zac likes Lucinda more than she likes him.
“Maybe they think he’s a fanboy,” she said in a confessional. “He is!”
Meanwhile, 5% think that Tyra and Ben will stay together on the outside.
What a ride!
Kiwi Ken v Hurricane Abby
Everyone is feeling insecure about their relos after the challenge, particularly Nakia. PGK and Nakia chat about it and he says he trusts that she didn’t say anything about their romance behind his back. (Obvi, the challenge was dated, given that it was probs referring to Kale and Tia’s connection… so it’s a moot point at this stage.)
Over in Ben land, he is sad over Tyra… and while we’d love to stay and chat with them, drama is afoot and we must dash!
Hurricane Abby, decides to tell Lucinda that Kiwi Ken’s intentions are about fame and fame only.
“Don’t you think it’s really weird that he asked me if my [social media] following went up after I was on TV?” Abby asks her.
Lucinda then begins to doubt her relationship with Kiwi Ken, given she has 818k followers on the gram and he’s obsessed with her from watching her…on TV.
Lucinda decides to talk to Zac about it and he begins to not only see red but become that very colour. He is “FUMIN'”.
“What a snake!” he says. “She’s been here for five minutes and she’s going around and stirring s–t like that. Who does she think she is? That’s such a wild accusation to make.”
Kiwi Ken then decides to confront Hurricane Abby, with T-Dawg, his apprentice, ready to confront her about Sav.
“You’ve been here for an afternoon and you’re just twisting every story that gets told,” T-Dawg says.
“Just because people aren’t interested in you, now you’re going to ruin s–t with them,” Zac adds.
Hurricane Abby has little chance to defend herself and Nate and PGK, are quick to pull the guys back.
Abby then storms off in tears.
Crikey! She sure came in like a wreeeeecking ball!
Want more Love Island Australia 2023 recaps? See below!
Episode 1 / Episode 2 / Episode 3 / Episode 4 / Episode 5 / Episode 6
Love Island Australia Season 5 episodes drop daily from Monday to Thursday at 6pm AEDT, exclusively on 9Now and airs at 8.30 pm on Nine.
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