Back when we had a shared family computer in my parents’ room, I would be playing The Sims every afternoon after school between year six and year eight. Thankfully, laptops became more of a thing in 2011. My parents bought themselves a laptop and we got rid of the massive desktop computer, so my addiction became harder to feed. It was now more of a school holiday and weekend tradition to play The Sims.
I’m a 23 year old woman now and the dangers of playing The Sims is still present – if I play then I won’t move, eat, or even get up for water or a bathroom break for eight hours. So, I strictly only play The Sims during Christmas. However, the addiction of playing The Sims isn’t the only danger that comes with the game. What about the multiple horrendous ways you can die/torture/kill your Sim?
From drowning them or setting them on fire to locking them in a room until they starve to death, there was something strangely hilarious (and exciting) about the grim reaper paying a visit and turning into your Sim into a ghost. Look, I’m not the only one who killed off my beloved characters once I’d had enough of them. Five Redditors have confessed the devilish ways they’ve killed their Sims:
Starve them, then get Spooky
Vsanna from Reddit shared a very sick way to kill off not just one sim, but ten:
“I made a guy who was a compulsive neat freak. Put him in a really surreal little house with a wedding buffet and a hamster or something, deleted the door. Eventually, he went insane from lack of cleanliness and depression over his little rodent friend dying and starved to death once the banquet rotted. I put the resulting urn in the room. I then repeated an identical scenario several times, always keeping the urns in the room. Eventually, the tenth iteration of this guy is up all night, every night, terrified of a parade of ghosts of himself.”
“Edit: Hooray my first gold for being a total weirdo!”
A Fetish for Drowning
User toasterpoodle’s go-to killing method seemed to be drowning.
“One time I killed a sim by drowning. Then I made everyone show up to his funeral in swimwear.”
“I once broke up with a guy then invited him over and drowned him, just to keep his tombstone for our illegitimate child. It sounds so much worse when it’s put bluntly like that.”
Yes, toasterpoodle, it does sound bad.
SHINX_FUCKER also drowned a Sim, but so that they could get to his wife without any interruptions.
“So, in my most recent Sims playthrough, I found this girl that I really wanted my Sim to marry. Problem is she already had a husband, so rather than just doing the (relatively) normal thing and just increasing the relationship and convincing her to break up with him, I instead became best friends with her husband, convinced him to move in with me, and then drowned him in a pool so I could marry his wife. Then I moved in with his wife (who lived in a HUGE mansion) and killed the rest of her family because I didn’t feel like taking care of the other Sims that she lived with but I still wanted the house.”
Yikes. But yes, it definitely is the lazier and quicker option.
A Poor Priest
BrianWantsTruth is one Redditor worthy of immediate investigation.
“I wanted to make a church with a full, complete graveyard. So I built a small, simple structure, moved in a family of eight, got them all inside, removed the door, then filled with fire. Yay, 8 new tombstones! Repeat like 9 times, and you’ve got a full graveyard of tombstones. Then I built the church and moved in a priest to live there and tend to the grounds.”
“Unfortunately for the priest, the grounds had been tainted by the dark rituals of the past and several dozen ghosts would materialize every night. Tormented by the crowds of spectres, he himself died three days later due to never being able to sleep.”
Another one of BrianWantsTruth’s creative (but still deeply sadistic) forms of murder in a digital simulation game is quite similar to our first friend Vsanna’s:
“My prison filled with slave-artists was pretty grim. Everyone got a single cell, bed, toilet, sink, artist easel. There was a warden that lived above them on the ground level (all the cells are underground of course), who cooked for them, but they could only eat if they were turning out sellable art. Most of them went insane and died.”
Killing the oldies
This one by crafting-ur-end is just plain sick:
“I recently found out you can kill old Sims by overexertion in The Sims 4. My Sim is going around town fucking all the old people to death and once death shows up she proceeds to make friends with him. I’m counting up graves until my Sim can bang death.”
Makin’ Magic? More like makin’ me want to cry!
This is before Sims 3 and 4. This expansion pack is very old-school; like 2003.
“In Makin’ Magic I had a brilliant dog called AJ who was loved by the whole family. He never had an off day and brought sheer joy to his owners. Decided to train in wizardry and get the spell that allowed you to turn pets into humans, so AJ could be even more a part of the family.”
“He turned out to be the biggest fucking assbag as a person and was abusive to his family, so we had to take care of him. I built a monolithic tomb, and trapped him inside. The family stood out front playing music to him as he slowly starved. They bought a new dog and played with it happily outside his eternal resting place to torture his trapped soul. Eventually, a dragon burnt down the house and killed them all.”
What a game.
What horrendous ways have you killed your Sims? Tell us in the comments below!