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Five foods that’ll make you horny AF

4 minutes to read

I don’t know about you, but pretty much any food makes me horny. If I smell a hot, fresh loaf of bread being sliced, my levels of excitement are probably equivalent to a pre-teen boy who’s suddenly discovered porn at a sleepover. I think I’ve made my point. However, if you’re stuck in a comfortable long-term relationship or you feel sexually awkward on Tinder dates, why not spice things up by scuffing down chocolate or sucking on some watermelon? Here are five foods that will boost your libido.

Oysters

“Did you know oysters are an aphrodisiac?” Yes, we do Latrell from White Chicks. They may be fancy food that are rare for millennials to devour on date night, however this love drug stimulates your sex drive by boosting testosterone and progesterone. Imagine slurping 50 oysters every morning for breakfast. Oh wait, someone did – the horny ‘18th century lover’ Giacomo Girolamo Casanova.

Drizzling lemon on oysters

Avocado

Besides avo being a $6 add-on for breakfast, the super-food also makes you as horny as Samantha from Sex and the City. Alright, maybe not that horny. Horny cookbook author, Martha Hopkins, wrote The New InterCourses (haha!) and avocado was listed as one of the best ingredients to get you in the mood for some lovin’. “The way it looks, the way it feels when you eat it and how exotic, rare or expensive it is all have helped certain foods earn the title, ‘aphrodisiac.’ Avocado meets the sensual criteria,” says The Today Show.

Two halves of a whole avocado

Garlic

You wouldn’t think garlic breath would even make a friendly impression. Then again, garlic bread does make me very happy – maybe too happy – most of the time. Well, according to Rebel Circus, “this is an ingredient that increases blood flow to the sexual organs”. Who woulda thunk?

Grabbing garlic

Watermelon

On a hot Summer day, there’s nothing better than a big bowl of sweet, juicy watermelon all to yourself. A fun fact about watermelon is that it’s high in citrulline – “which has a Viagra-like effect for an erection”. Well, it beats normal Viagra. Feel free to get in the mood with your partner by having froyo topped with watermelon for dessert on your next date night.

Eating watermelon

Chocolate

I don’t feel like we even need research to back this up. Elizabeth force-feeding Sam Nutella in MAFS was enough to prove that this shit gets you in the mood (horrible example – they hate each other and had zero chemistry). However, answer this for me: have you ever felt giddy after being given Hershey Chocolate Kisses by a secret admirer (I wish this happened), or eating chocolate Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream alone on a Friday night (that’s more like it)? Besides chocolate being a comfort food, a happy drug, and most of all, our friend, it also makes us wanna get down and dirty with a stranger. According to The Today Show, “cocoa stimulates production of the “feel good” hormones serotonin and dopamine, and contains phenylethylamine (PEA), produced by the brain in large quantities when we’re falling in love. Cocoa is most sensual when made into chocolate, which melts easily and sensually in your mouth.” Jesus, who’s the horny writer working for The Today Show?

Eating chocolate

Which foods get you in the mood? Tell us in the comments below!