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The Emperor’s New Clothes: Zuckerberg For President?

3 minutes to read

From little things big things grow. Nowhere is that more true than in the story of Mark Zuckerberg and his creation of Facebook, which started life in 2003 as a humble ‘hot or not’ website that allowed visitors to rate each other’s looks. Now it has 1.9 billion monthly active users and is on track to become a trillion dollar company.

The rise of Mark Zuckerberg, has been similarly meteoric. The Zuck was a student at Harvard when he built Facemash – the aforementioned ‘hot or not’ website – and screwed over some people who had commissioned him to create ‘HarvardConnection.com’ by stealing their idea for a college-based social network. Now he’s the 5th richest man in the world and appears to have his eye on a run for office. And not just any office – the office. The oval-shaped one. The one currently occupied by an alleged methamphetamine-abusing reality television host. The Zuck wants to be Commander-in-Chief. He wants it so bad it’s driving him mad, which is clearly the cause of this lapse in judgement:

Guess who's coming to dinner? The Zuck, but he invited himself. Via The Observer.
Guess who’s coming to dinner? The Zuck, but he invited himself. Via The Observer.

To be a fly on the wall at that dinner. Let’s examine the numerous other reasons it looks like The Zuck wants to be The Prez.

1) A piece of Facebook legalese released in 2016 would allow for The Zuck to maintain majority control over the company should he take a voluntary leave of absence for the purpose of serving ‘in a government position or office’. That could probably be taken to mean serving in an advisory capacity, à la Elon Musk and the other Silicon Chips who tried warning Trump about the dangers of climate change, but here comes this next point:

2) He has repeatedly been described as somebody who ‘wants to be emperor’.

3) He said he’s found religion again, and that’s fair enough – I’d be overjoyed if I could find solace in anything other than Tim Tams  – but the point is that you probably won’t be President if you don’t believe in some kind of god.

We have always loved Nascar. Via The Observer.
We have always loved Nascar. Via The Observer.

4) He’s been writing stuff like this:

Heading back home after a great few days in Texas. Today we drove down to Waco and stopped in smaller towns along the way. I had lunch with community leaders in Waxahachie who shared their pride in their home and their feelings on a divided country. I met young moms in West who moved back to their town because they want their kids to be raised with the same values they grew up with. And I met with ministers in Waco who are helping their congregations find deeper meaning in a changing world … We may come from different backgrounds, but we all want to find purpose and authenticity in something bigger than ourselves.

Unless The Zuck has