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Donald Trump Named 45th US President

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What’s that you see above you? Oh yeah, it’s rock bottom. The Donald Trump has been elected as the 45th president of the United States, and everyone is just sort of gobsmacked.

Run for the hills. Source

Just to remind you, this man has:

-Wanted to build a wall along the 2,100 mile border with Mexico.
-Tried to deny women their reproductive rights.
-Committed sexual assault.
-Said flagrantly racist shit.
-Said flagrantly sexist shit.
-Said fragrantly paedophilic shit.
-Allegedly nursed a cheap speed habit.
-Talked at length about how attractive his daughter was.
-Owned a $20,000 hair weave.
-Had tiny hands.
-Committed tax fraud.
-Was/is orange.
-Threatened mass deportations.
-Is mostly famous for being a dick on The Apprentice.

And he now has access to nuclear armaments.

45th US President
Basically. Source

Well done America, well done. The rest of the world thanks you for believing a highly qualified but imperfect female candidate, was a worse choice than a rabid, egotistical, financially irresponsible, tangerine hate-machine.

While Trump won’t be inaugurated as POTUS until Friday, January 20 2017, his victory has already had considerable impact. The Australian share market has lost over $32 billion in value, and the Canadian immigration website crashed earlier today, as Americans (presumably) started looking for an out.

With the US House of Representatives AND Senate being retained by the Republican party, many of Trump’s electoral policies (like unrealistic Mexico-US walls) might next year become sad realities. And you thought the Brexit was bad.

So here’s to four years of Donald Trump. If we make it that far.