Lifestyle Thoughts

How To Not Be A Dickhead At Weddings

4 minutes to read

I’ve been to a lot of weddings. Small weddings, big weddings. Religious weddings, rowdy weddings. Weddings where the couple look like they’ve just graduated high school and weddings where the bride and groom were in their 60s. Weddings are a lot of fun, even if you’re just working at them. But there are a few things that wedding guests don’t seem to think of when they’re enjoying all that food, wine and love. So here are a few things to remember next time you head into that reception hall that will make everyone’s night a little nicer:

Push your chair in.

Something comes over people when they’re at weddings, and they lose all sense of the people around them. But when the waitstaff are trying to serve meals to 150 guests as quickly as possible and already have to navigate their way around people dancing, three photographers and their lighting equipment, baby prams, the bride’s dress and other staff carrying trays of drinks, it would be nice to not have to push in every 5th chair just to get through the aisle.

Inform the bride and groom of your dietary requirements before the wedding.

Even if it’s just the morning of the wedding, it is much more likely you will get the meal you need than if you tell the waitstaff who just put the main meal down in front of you that you’re pregnant and can’t eat everything good under the sun. Food service at a wedding is not like a restaurant. The ingredients are not set up in the kitchen with the chef waiting to whip up whatever your stomach desires at that second. So make it easier for everyone and just fess up your weird dietary restrictions ASAP.

The night isn’t all about you (Unless you’re the bride and groom) Source

Don’t be demanding about the food and drinks, it’s most likely you didn’t even pay for any of it.

The entitlement guests feel at weddings can be overwhelming for waitstaff. Yes, you are a guest and a customer at this venue and we’ll give you the best service we can, which is usually pretty damn good. But when you whinge to the bride that the bar is closed, when she probably chose the closing time, you’re making yourself look pretty foolish and you definitely won’t be getting that extra drink. Be grateful she even invited you to eat and get drunk for free.

Don’t ask for extra bread.

If canapés, entree, main, dessert and cake with coffee aren’t enough food for you, you may have a bigger problem than not having another slice of bread put on your plate immediately. Sometimes bread is the majority of the food leftover for the waitstaff to eat on their 10pm break, so count your lucky stars if they are willing to give up a slice.

Source

Think about where you

put your rubbish.

If waitstaff are carrying a tray of canapés, it is not appropriate or hygienic to place your dirty napkin on the same tray. Nor is it appropriate to stick your dirty skewer in the garden. There are tables, heck there are even nice bowls for you to place your rubbish in. Don’t be a tosser.

For god’s sake, don’t throw up.

It’s ridiculous how quickly a wedding can go from a classy affair to downright trashy. Obviously free alcohol can go straight to your head, but try to control yourself. The night is not about seeing how smashed you can get, so don’t make it all about you. But if the situation does arise, try to a least make it to the bathroom first.

Don’t linger once the wedding is over.

When the bride and groom leave, there is often about ten minutes left until the wedding is over. And then all guests are expected to leave. It’s ideal to have your transport from the venue organised before you need to leave. The table that the waitstaff are hurriedly trying to clear and strip to reset for another wedding the next night is not the place for you to sit down with your mates and debrief on the night.

And if you really feel the need to do cocaine, please find something else to snort it off other than the baby change table.