You know those people who you see trying to live life and are just not doing it well? Well this is the list of the people we see that make us feel like w can’t even…
1. People who yell at retail/hospitality workers/anyone serving them.
As someone who has done my fair share of work in ‘slave-like’ retail jobs I can tell you that nothing makes for a terrible day like a rude customer that decides to abuse you for shit that isn’t your fault. Oh, your item is incorrectly priced? Yes, please tell me about how it is all my fault, as I serve you, on the counter, not at a computer organising pricing.
2. People who don’t give their kids Santa purely for the reason “they don’t want to lie to their kids”
Christmas is magical, stop being all ‘grinch like’. And no, this doesn’t refer to people who are from a religion that celebrate a different kind of holiday instead of Christmas. But people with no religion who were so scarred by being lied to about Santa that they decided that their kinds don’t get to have Santa either. Not only that, but actively encourage that Santa and other magical childhood creatures like the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy aren’t real. They’re the kids that go to school and end up as social pariahs because they blurbed to their classmates that Santa isn’t real… even though they’re 6 and shouldn’t be that cynical.
You know what’s not cool? Polio. Story time here: my Pop had Polio and lost his leg due to the ongoing medical difficulties that were associated with having the disease as a child. We eradicated this disease in the Western world in what? A generation? And you think it’s a lifestyle choice to not vaccinate your child against fatal diseases? No, just no.
4. People who put milk in tea before the water.
Seriously, dude. How confident in your milk pouring abilities are you? Same goes to people who put cream on their scones before the jam. It’s unnatural and weird and we do not condone it.
5. People who shame other people for their musical tastes.
You are no cooler for listening to an obscure indie band who only performs in underground bunkers than someone who listens to Top 40. Music is amazing. Sing along and calm down.
6. People who ‘catcall’.
Yes, because nothing makes women want to have sex with you more than being screamed at from the street. You are scaring us, not complimenting us. You want to compliment a stranger? Calmly and politely go up to someone and say “hey, you’re doing X right today” or whatever. If you can do that without being sexual or predatory or expecting anything in return, then go forth and say something nice to a stranger. Otherwise, back off, you’re scaring us.
whose immediate reaction to an adorable cat video isn’t at least squealing.
All small animals are adorable and precious. Don’t judge me as I squeal at small kitties.
8. People who judge other people for drinking soy milk in their coffee.
No one drinks soy for the taste. People drink soy because there are things their body can’t handle. One is lactose. The other is your judgey attitude.
9. Students who vote liberal.
Speaks for itself really. I see you with your tweed and your smirk and I am judging you.
10. People who say feminism isn’t necessary.
I can’t even with you people. Like, a hundred years ago, some women in Western countries couldn’t vote. Still women don’t get paid the same as men and have male politicians making decisions about their bodies. We need that shit, we always will because it is an ongoing process to gain full equality, and god knows we’re going to have to work to keep it when we finally get it.
In all seriousness though, You Do You Boo! We’re all fumbling around and trying to live life the best way we can. Education is key and it’s often all most people need to develop and grow and be functioning humans in society.
Except young liberals. What are you guys doing?