You know what I love? What I find deliciously hot? Sex shops.
But before your thoughts get a little ahead of things, let me explain where I’m going with this. Sure, the display of sex toys in the back corner might be strange and foreign to you, or instead pique interests you didn’t realise you had. And yes, the lingerie can be absolutely to die for – especially when you check the price tag. But the focus on sex education and sexual confidence is the real reason I love sex shops.
Think back to those awkward sex-ed classes in high school. They generally involved hoots of laughter whenever genitals were mentioned by correct name, labelling the respective reproduction systems on activity sheets and being forcibly scared away from the idea of sex by pictures of STI’s. But to help build better body and sexual confidence, sex education should be inclusive of pleasure, bodies and relationships rather than simply reproduction and fear based.
Growing up, I was never truly sure I was allowed to want sex, let alone enjoy it. And I definitely wasn’t sure how to talk about it with others. As I got older, I learnt shame and guilt are served as a side dish to those who desire and enjoy sexual interaction a little more freely than others (especially in the case of females); and men nowadays are shunned for considering the use of sex toys because one, they fear they may appear gay if they use it on themselves and two, they should be able to satisfy their woman without one.
And this is where sex shops enter the equation – because education doesn’t have an expiry date. These kinds of shops have a lot to offer if you go in with the right attitude and openness. For a long time, my idea of a sex shop typically looked like a seedy, run down building with the words ADULT SHOP in neon lights on the side. And it wasn’t till I had the experience of opening a discreetly wrapped vibrator as a birthday present in front of twenty friends that I decided to visit ‘one of those’ shops. But just as the sleazy, gives-you-shivers type of store sits at one end of the spectrum, at the other end there are some wonderfully classy sex shops that make the experience much more comfortable.
Sex shops can play a wonderful part in the process of educating yourself a little more about sex and your body. If you’re thinking of visiting one down the track, there are few things that can help your experience be a positive one:
- Before you take that step over the threshold, it’s important to know one thing: you should be experiencing the confidence and pleasure you deserve, women and
men alike. And it’s absolutely normal to want to.
- The staff in the store you’re about to enter? They work there because they feel the same way! Don’t forget to leave your pre-conceived notions of being judged for your desires at the door.
- Particularly crucial for education – ask questions! Don’t be afraid to tap a staff member on the shoulder and inquire about any of their products. The more you know, the better the chances of you making a purchase that’s right for you.
- You may also like to do a little of your own research on types of products before going in. It may help ease you into the experience and give you a bit more confidence when perusing the shelves.
- Don’t be afraid to use more than your eyes! Ask if you can perhaps pick up one of the products, see how the material feels; even check how strong the vibrations are! It may help desensitise you to the idea of toys in particular and you’ll become more comfortable with the idea of them.There doesn’t need to be a cut off date for sex education. It can even be a little fun! Get ready to embrace a new, confident you. And remember to stay curious.
If you’re interested in delving into a little more hilarious yet informative sex education, definitely give Sexplanations a look.