I like to think I’m not an awkward person, because you know, if you think anything hard enough it might come true, right?!
Thankfully I take reprise in the fact that I’m not the only uncoordinated human on this planet who struggles to do ordinary, ‘people things’ on a daily basis, and this is especially true at the gym.
We currently live in an age of ‘fitspo’ pages and Instagram posts of healthy food and abs, making you feel bad for sleeping until midday (and then spending the remainder of it on the couch eating chips and binge watching Bones). So, I headed to the gym to see how the pros do it, and instead I learned the top ten awkward gym moments that every girl experiences some time or another. Not only did I get the chance to post my own guilt-provoking Instagram posts, but I was able to add to my list of awkward moments – yay for me?
- Making eye contact with someone whilst using the hip abductor.
Because there’s nothing more enticing than staring someone down with your legs spread wide open. It brings a whole new meaning to ‘my eyes are up here.’
- When you get caught staring at a ‘grunter’
One of the native animals to the gym, the grunter, in typical tennis player style, moans and grunts whilst working out. This person is probably the same guy who talks really loud on his phone on the train, or complains about food at a restaurant. The only thing more awkward than having to listen to his aggressive noises, is getting caught silently judging… oops?
- Leaving a sweaty butt print on the seat
First of all, ew. Second of all, why is my bum so big? Third of all, ew!
- Spilling water down your top whilst running on the treadmill
Maybe people will think it’s sweat and you just worked out really, really hard? Or they’ll know you’re clumsy. (hint: it’s probably #2)
- Running into someone you know
You think it’s bad running into your ex at the grocery shop; wait until you see him whilst you’re red-faced, sweaty, probably a bit smelly and makeup free. Why yes, I would love to stand here and chat for an extra 15 minutes, please continue to stare at my sweat patches.
- When someone farts in Pilates
With the amount of times this happens it seems fitting that the class be renamed PiFartes and be accompanied by those weird, motion detecting air fresheners that are the cause of *30% of heart attacks. (*Not an actual statistic.)
- Falling off the treadmill
We’ve all mimicked a wet noodle and fallen at some point in our gym lives. It’s almost not embarrassing anymore… Okay it is, it SO is.
- Trying to secretly pull out a wedgie
That moment of realisation when you know you should have worn a g-string to your boot camp class. Oh well, here goes nothing – hope the cute trainer doesn’t see me do this…. Okay he saw, he definitely saw.
- Rocking up in your new Lorna Jane top and realising you forgot to shave your arm pits
So lat pull downs are definitely off the menu for today.
- Picking up the heavy weights then remembering you’re way too weak for this crap
Can you stop at only two reps? Because I feel like my arms are going to fall off. Don’t judge me! Trying is all that matters!