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Yummy Mummies Ep 5 & 6: Recap

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How Yummy Mummies is still on the air after more than two weeks, I’m unsure. How I still have enough brain cells to write these recaps, I’m also not sure, but here it goes.

Lorinska consults with high profile stylist Lana Wilkinson (she only dresses celebrities!) to dress her for her baby shower. A baby shower, Lorinska says, is just as important to a woman as a wedding. Now, I’ve never been to a baby shower, but I think most of them involve a barbecue in the backyard with assorted nibbles spread on an outdoor setting.

Up on the Gold Coast, Maria and Carlos’ babymoon has been rudely interrupted by a false labour scare. You mean, they didn’t happen to catch the exact moment Maria’s waters broke on national television? Shocker. But, of course, her parents didn’t get the memo that it was a false alarm, and have arrived at the Palazzo Versace to a still pregnant Maria.

I want to stop watching but I just can’t. Source

The highlight of this episode for me is we get to see Jane’s beautiful husband Joey again. In the midst of styling her hair, having girly gossip and just being an all-round ten, he has managed to organise Jane’s new Range Rover to be dropped off the front of his salon. This guy has a man bun and can find a park in the middle of the day in inner-city Melbourne? #husbandgoals

We arrive at Lorinska’s baby shower in South Yarra, and props to shower-stylist Yolanda because it is actually really elegant. The venue is decked out with floral pieces and high-tea table settings and not even a random dance number by Margherita could ruin it.

The Adelaidians arrive in slow motion and there are more snide comments about appearances between Maria, Marg, Jane and Lorinska than in an article by the Daily Mail.

Lorinska receives a phone call from Rachel who has “stolen her limelight.” That’s right, Rachel had the audacity to give birth on the day of the baby shower.

Rachel and husband Jason with newborn Harvy. Source
Rachel and husband Jason with newborn Harvey. Source

And because this is a cheap excuse to try and get pregnant women to fight each other, the shower is quickly ruined by a Lorinska impersonator organised by Maria and Margherita, who hands her a silver Logie to remind her that Maria is the star.

Due to “schedule changes” the next episode of Yummy Mummies aired right after at the prime time of 10:30 p.m. on a weeknight.

While Jane and Lorinska visit Rachel and baby Harvey in hospital, we get a great shot of Carlos doing some epic meal prep. Then, in walks Maria, looking like she might actually be going into labour this time.

Once again, for reasons unknown, Maria decides to call every contact in her phone other than triple zero. Margherita then decides to call the mysterious Steph, because “her mum’s a midwife!” and that’s apparently the same thing as being

a medical professional.

Why is no one calling a doctor?! Source

I don’t know who Steph is, but she doesn’t seem like she would move in the same social circles as the other Yummy Mummies. Although, she brings an exercise ball so that’s a start. Maria’s father is ropeable that he has to make her a sandwich, because this is his sleeping time. Don’t worry Joe, I get it. There’s lots of other things I could be doing other than watching your daughter in labour.

As always, it wouldn’t be a reality TV birth if Carlos didn’t get lost on the way to the hospital. Then Maria blurts out what I think could be the most iconic line on trash TV this year: “Where is your ugly entrance?!”

Maria claims she has been in labour for almost 24 hours and she hasn’t eaten for 30, to which Marg says that Dad is on his way with paninis. How long does it take this man to make a sandwich?

Rachel and hubby Jason bring their baby home from the hospital and it actually seems like a genuine portrayal of emotions for the first time since the show began. Then, reminded of her push present, I thought Rachel might throw her newborn on the ground to give all her attention to her brand new two-tone Rolex.

After 26 hours of labour and not understanding how to hold her breath, Maria finally gives birth to baby Valentina. Her whole family is very excited and glad it’s all over, and I sure can relate.