Ghosting. We’ve all done it. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term ‘ghosting‘, it’s where you ignore someone’s texts, phone calls and drunken Snapchats until they finally get the hint and leave you alone forever. Usually, the person who is doing the messaging is someone that you’ve made out with or gone out on a few dates with and you’re just not feeling it, although ghosting can be done between friends as well. It’s way worse to do it to someone you’ve been friends with though, as it means that you’ve decided that instead of talking to them like a rational adult, you’ve gone with the whole ‘i’ll ignore it and they’ll go away’ approach.
Ghosting is terrible, for both the person being ghosted and the person doing the ghosting. I admit, I have gone ghost a few times, but have also been ghosted as well, and every time it happens, it just brings up more questions than answers. It just would’ve taken a few seconds to type a text saying “hey, you’re great, I’m just not ready to date right now”, instead of constantly checking your phone to see if you’ve gotten yet another text from them that you have to ignore.
Ignoring people takes a lot of work. If they’ve got read receipts on, you can’t open the text to make the (1) go away on your phone, because then they’ll know that you’ve opened it. This’ll cause them to be aware that you’ve opened their message and decided not to reply, which will probably cause them to send another text that’ll make the (1) go to a (2). For many people, I’ve just described a nightmare.
From experience, it’s clear to see that being honest with someone is far more work. So many people would rather just hope others get the hint after 6 ignored texts in a row, all sent at different times so you can see whether or not you’re being ignored or they really are just ‘busy’. Being honest with someone requires being vulnerable (even if it is only for a second), and people would just rather, you know, not.
Although ‘ghosting’ might seem like the easier and better approach in the long run, it really is the worst feeling being ignored by someone that you were into. At least a honest response, even if it may seem hurtful at the time, will provide a sense of closure for the person being ghosted. That being said, if the date was a disaster, you don’t really owe them anything. It is better to give them closure though so so they don’t call you 5 times on a Sunday morning slurring “why didn’t you ever call me back for? We could’ve been great.” No one wants to give or receive drunken voicemails.