Welcome back to another recap of another intense Game of Thrones episode. Jon Snow is back but the game remains the same.
Today started with Jon gasping for breath and slowly realising, much to his horror, he is alive. We get a good look at his back muscles and dat ass as Ser Davos calms him. The Red Woman has fulfilled our dreams! Jon is still in shock as he runs his hands over his wounds, remembering his murder by the Night’s Watch. While unable to process his resurrection, Melisandre questions Jon about where he went after death. “What did you see?” she asked. Jon responds with a low voice, “Nothing. There was nothing at all.”
The Red Woman’s faith has been restored and she believes Jon may be the Prince Who Was Promised. Jon thinks he shouldn’t even be here and doesn’t have the confidence to face challenges like he once had. “I did what I thought was right, and I got murdered for it”. He reminded me of Ned in his moment. But Davos gives him a fatherly pep talk after Jon states he had failed before: “Now go fail again.”
Jon is considered a god among the Night’s Watch, the man who returned from the dead. Jon denies being one and Tormund makes a light jab at his manhood: “I know that, I saw your pecker. what kind of god would have a pecker that small?” The same light humour continues as Edd and Jon embrace and share a couple of jokes.
The episode cuts to Sam and Gilly at sea. As a seasick Sam retches into a bucket, Gilly mentions they are on their way to Oldtown, “the most beautiful city in Westeros”. However, Sam plans to take Gilly to his home, Horn Hill, where his mother and sister can take care of her and baby Sam while he goes and trains to be a maester. There’s a cute moment between Gilly and Sam before he vomits into the bucket again. Awkward.
Scene cuts to Bran and the Three Eyed Raven in another memory: Ned Stark and Lord Howland Reed as young men confronting Ser Arthur Dayne at the Tower of Joy in Dorne. Ned is looking for Lyanna, who we assume is in the tower. A rather messy battle commences that leads to a 1v1 between Ned and Arthur. As the fight looks in favour of Arthur, the greatest swordsman alive, Reed stabs Arthur in the back, allowing Ned to kill him. The scene ends with Ned going up the tower, the first clue we have to the R+L=J theory.
Back in the tree cave, the Three Eyed Rave warns Bran again of lingering the memories they explore. “You won’t be the old man in the tree… But you must learn. Everything.”
Dany travels to Vaes Dothrak with Khal Moro where she is stripped, given a new gown of the widows, and inducted into the Dosh Khaleen. Her headstrong personality shines through as she states she is not meant to be here, She is told by the widow of Khal Savo that because she didn’t go to the temple after Khal Drogo’s death, it must now be decided on what to do with “Khal Drogo’s silver haired widow”. With any luck, it’ll be there with the other Dosh Khaleen. Well then, her future is looking rather bleak and Drogon is still nowhere to be seen.
Back in Meereen, Varys speaks with Vala, a woman who helped the Sons of the Harpy murder the Unsullied and the Second Sons. Varys uses her son, Dom, as leverage, emphasising the penalty for conspiring against the Queen’s soldiers is death. He tells her he has booked a ship to Pentos for Vala and Dom, and offers a pouch of silver to help her out. He hives her the choice of leaving if she gives up information about the rebellion or to stay and face the consequences.
As Tyrion, Grey Worm and Missandei wait for Varys, the episode’s light humour returns as Tyrion tries to get Missandei and Grey Worm to play a game. “Innocent games, fun games… drinking games!” His awkward attempt at conversation is saved by Varys, who reveals that Astapor and Yunkai and Volantis are financing the Sons of the Harpy. Looks like they have their work cut out for them.
Back in King’s Landing, Qyburn has employed Varys’ little birds to feed him secrets like they did for their previous master. The scene brings Ser Strong (also known as Ser Gregor “the Mountain” Clegane who looks like a Westeros version of Frankenstein’s monster) with Cersei and Jaime. Cersei asks to have the little birds in Dorne, Highgarden and the North as she wants to hear everything.
Cersei also wants a place in the High Council, which is denied by her uncle, Kevan Lannister. The Queen of Thorns (Queen Margaery’s mother) throws shade at Cersei: ‘Margaery is the queen. You are not the queen. I do appreciate these things can get confusing in your family’. #burn
King Tommen meets with the High Sparrow, who won’t allow Cersei to see Myrcella’s tomb because she “must stand before seven septons to know the true extent of her sins.” We watch as the High Sparrow seems to capture Tommen in his pious logic, luring him to take a seat for a heart-to-heart chat. “A true leader avails himself of the wisest council he can, and no council is wiser than the gods,” says the High Sparrow. A lovely song for a naive king.
Arya training to be No One with the Waif is almost too intense to watch as we watch her getting her ass handed by the Waif, only this time in the House of Black and White. These scenes are intercut with an chilling interrogation as Arya refers to herself as “Arya Stark” and “she”. It’s a method to distance herself from… herself. She is training to no longer be Arya and it seems to be working. She eventually beats the Waif in combat (fuck yeah!) and when tested again, she responds, “A girl has no name.” The Faceless Man (or Jaqen as we know him) gives her a drink which returns her eyesight. “Who are you?” he asked. Her response is as we expected: “No one.”
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Just as we lose one Stark, we find another. Even if it’s not the best of circumstances. Lord Umber meets with Ramsay to ask for help in the North. Despite refusing to kneel and pledge to Ramsay, he announces he has brought a gift. Surprise, surprise, it is Osha and Rickon Stark.
Ramsay doubts the legitimacy of Rickon, to which Lord Umber proves by placing the head of Shaggydog on the table. It looks like Ramsay will have the upper hand once again on the Starks. The scene ends with Ramsay’s almost mocking words to Rickon: “Welcome home, Lord Stark”. #rip
The episode ends where it began. Jon is to carry out the sentence of hanging the ones behind his murder, including Alliser Thorne and little Olly. Alliser’s last words are ominous: “I fought… I lost. Now I rest. But you, Lord Snow, you’ll be fighting their battles forever.” Olly has no words, just a pained mask as Jon, who looks like he’d rather be dead again, carries out their death sentence. As though a close up on Olly’s blue and lifeless face wasn’t haunting enough, Jon sheds his Lord Commander cloak and hands it to Edd. “You have Castle Black. My watch has ended.”
— Ziwe (@ziwe) May 9, 2016