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7 WTF Did I Just Watch Australian Films

5 minutes to read

Ever have those movie cravings where you just want to watch something completely incomprehensible? No? Well in case you want to mindfuck your friends, here are my top WTF picks:

  1. Primal

This horror movie starts out just like any other: a group of five friends travel deep into the bush to view an ancient cave painting, but soon find themselves in a bit of a pickle when one of the members is infected with a sickness that turns her into a psychotic, blood lusting, predator bitch from hell. “But Katie,” you say, “that doesn’t sound so strange.” Don’t speak too soon because this movie takes weird to the next level. The cave is revealed to have mystical powers and it grows tentacles that it uses to get extremely rapey. Errm ok then.

  1. Sleeping Beauty

This is one of the strangest movies I have ever seen, and no, it has nothing to do with Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, so please don’t show it to your children. This film tells the story of Lucy, a young university student who takes on several obscure jobs to pay the rent. Things escalate quickly though, as she goes from barista, to medical lab rat, to lingerie waitress, to person who gets paid generously to drink a tea that makes her pass out while wealthy old men do what they want to her lifeless body. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Sleeping Beauty is a drawn out and awkward movie, but it does have an incredibly hot and very naked Emily Browning. It’s cringe worthy but you can’t look away.

  1. The Infinite Man

At first, I thought this movie was going to be too eccentric to be enjoyable, but I was wrong. It’s the type of film where you have absolutely no idea what’s going until somewhere near the end. Basically it is about a man who desperately tries to recreate the perfect date using a time machine, but gets himself and his girlfriend stuck in an infinite loop. The more he changes the past, the worse his present seems to get as battles his girl’s ex-boyfriend and many versions of himself from different time lines to win her love.

  1. The Little Death

The Little Death is a movie about the darker, more unusual side of sex. It uncovers the secret life of suburban people living in Sydney who each have a taboo fetish. There’s a pedophile, a guy who likes to suck toes, a couple into role play, a woman with a rape fantasy, a man who has an affair with his wife without her knowing, a lady who can only get off on her husband’s sadness and deaf guy who, despite his handicap, is determined to have phone sex. This movie is painfully awkward and utterly hilarious as each person’s fetish is revealed and strange unforeseeable consequences ensue.

  1. Wyrmwood

An outback, zombie, horror comedy that is somehow both a great

and a terrible movie. It starts out strong with intense action, gratuitous violence and tongue in cheek Aussie humour, but then just gets completely out of hand and when it incorporates the idea that the zombies can be used for fuel and they can, for some reason, be controlled by one girl’s unexplained, telekinetic, mind powers. You have to watch this movie at least once as I am sure it is on its way to becoming a cult classic, but you will probably not want to watch it again. I feel so conflicted because I loved every minute of it but I also want my time back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgo0ZWlK4pk

  1. Bad Boy Bubby

Now this one is a total classic. Bubby is a deranged man who spent the first 35 years of his life locked in a basement by his abusive, controlling mother. She tells him the outside air is poisonous and, after escaping when his father returns, he sets off on an adventure of discovery in the sick and twisted outside world. Bad Boy Bubby is a disturbing film about non-social conditioning with sever repercussions that has you rooting for the character at the end despite his offbeat nature.

  1. The loved Ones

Not for the squeamish, this film is truly unsettling with plenty of bleach being injected into throats, feet getting pinned to the floor with knives and lobotomisation by drilling through the scull and boiling the brain. Perhaps when shy, loner girls ask you to be their prom date, it’s best to just say yes. You never know how far her daddy will go to make sure his little princess gets everything she desires. After watching this movie I can never listen to Casey Chamber’s Am I Not Pretty Enough without a cold chill running up my spine and pink puffy prom dresses freak me the fuck out. This movie is sickeningly awesome and the portrayal of love between father and daughter is beautifully inspiring (lol jokes, it’s totally repulsive). This is a very quirky horror film that the whole family will probably not enjoy.