Being in a long term relationship is a whole different ball game to dating or being single. And although the world of the singles might be far more exciting, with butterflies accompanying a touch, a text being filled with possibilities, and a kiss that could mean so much more, I gotta say, I fucking love my monotonous, monogamous life.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a touch under two and a half years; we’ve recently shacked up and we have two cats, which I refer to as our furbabies. Our life is simple: he’s a baker and works weird hours, I’m a student, a writer and I work a glamourous supermarket job. We romantically watch Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead together. This shit works.
I think that at uni you’re almost expected to want to be single, to go wild, and hook up with a bunch of people, and be as experimental as your stamina will allow. And as a feminist, I’m probably meant to eschew the traditional bonds of monogamy and heterosexual conformity that is out to entrap women into domestic life. And hey, that’s what I thought my life was meant to turn out like as well before I met my dude, and then bam, we got monogamous and loved up. Weird how that happens.
Being single is stressful, dating is confusing, and although that world is interesting, and the butterflies are fun, hanging out at home with my boyfriend and our cats is so much more satisfying than trying to manoeuvre my way around a club at one o’clock in the morning with sore feet and a craving for a kebab. I’ve been to a club, I fucking hate clubs, I have a deep aversion to any establishment that is happy to be sticky.
Now don’t get me wrong, making out with strangers is fun, and I fully support the life choices of anyone that finds bliss doing exactly that. I had my fun doing that during year 12 while I discovered vodka and my face started to match my body and my boobs reached their full potential. But I’m a fairly boring person. I can happily spend six hours watching Friends on Netflix and feel like I’ve had a successful day.
To be honest with you, I’ve made my peace with it.
I traded in hookups for morning kisses, and traded for first dates I have pasta nights at home. Instead of texts that need decoding, the last text message I sent my boyfriend was asking him if he fed the cat (he hadn’t). For us, Netflix and Chill, is actually watching Netflix, and chilling… It’s amazing, sex is a guarantee, and we actually get to watch whatever show we’ve turned on.
So my dull and monogamous life suits me. The hum-drum and the predictability is bliss. A Friday night in, watching the news and eating dinner with my partner is more fun than a night “on the town” will ever be.
I shall continue to be the indoorsy type, and live vicariously through my single friends while I live my boring but satisfying life, it’s so much easier.
Plus, there’s the added bonus of regular sex, which is pretty hard to argue against the benefits of.