Okay, we’ve all been there. Swiping on Tinder, staring at your phone wondering why he hasn’t texted back, 10 minutes go past, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, three days… But before you go to send that fifteenth message in a row consider this alternative: watch five seasons of Gossip Girl and forget that loser even exists. That’s right, Netflix is here for you. Netflix is like a boyfriend who never lets you down, and I’m going to tell you why.
- Netflix will never dog you for a ‘night out with the boys’
Instead of chanting FTB (for the boys) and chugging beer through a hose from a keg standing upside down (classssssy), Netflix will stay up with you all night while you binge watch your favourite re-runs and new release shows.
- Netflix will never judge you on how you look
Forget dressing up, brushing your hair or even washing your face. Netflix will take that hollow eyed, lazy human who’s currently been living in tracksuit pants for the last two weeks with open arms. Although, it’s all fun and games until the black screen comes up and you catch a glimpse of your reflection: eeeek! Continue watching, CONTINUE WATCHING!
- Netflix respects your decisions and your authority
It may occasionally ask you if you want to continue watching, but that’s just to check that you’re still alive – awwww NF you sweetie, you! It also makes a ‘suggested for you’ list, but in the end it’s inevitably your choice what you choose, Netflix just goes with the flow. Why YES I do want to watch seven seasons of Skins – How did you know?!
- There is no walk of shame home from Netflix’s house
You’re basically roomies, without awkwardly finding each other’s underwear in your laundry piles.
- Netflix will never make you meet his crazy Mum
Guess who’s being questioned at a Sunday night dinner about having children with their loser boyfriend within the next two years? Not you. Yay! Now back to Gossip Girl.
So although you may be reading this thinking, “wow what a loser, she’s a total hermit crab with no social life who uses technology to replace a stable, loving relationship” well guess what! …That’s totally true. BUT that stable, loving relationship replacer will never booty call text me “WYD?” at 2am, now who’s the real winner here?